Yesterday a lady came up to the enquiry desk. She was near my age-- maybe a five or so years older? Anyhow, she came up to the desk with her mother, and I asked if I could help her. She said she hoped so-- she and her mother and her daughter are flying to Edinburgh soon, and they were told that they would need "government approved" photo identification for the airport. She needed to know what that included, as she doesn't have a photo driver's licence, or a passport. She hates flying, she added. I had a good look on the internet and found nothing. I advised her to phone either the airline or the airport to ask what IDs they accept as government approved. Then I laughed quietly and said they'd be better off taking the train if she didn't like flying...
She laughed and said the only reasons they were flying were because it was her daughter's birthday present (her daughter had never flown before) and because someone had told them that it was only an hour on the plane from Manchester to Edinburgh. Well that's true, but it takes an hour to get to MAN airport from Crewe, plus you have to be there an hour earlier to check in, plus an hour on the other end to get from the Edinburgh airport into the city centre... which means it would be faster and simpler to just take the train (and cheaper).
So then (I couldn't help myself, I really couldn't-- it was amazing I didn't just hoot out with laughter before saying it!!) I said, very straight-faced, you should send your mother and your daughter on the plane, and you should take the train... you know, the old scottish song... "You take the high road, and all take the low... and I'll be in Scotland afore ye..."
We all had a good laugh (mine was very restrained-- we've had complaints from borrowers that they can hear us laughing and carrying on in the reference library!) and she thanked me and went on her way...